Will I Always Be Alone?

Sitting there, watching how the moon ripples over the wave. The deep heaving sigh is silent but it stirs her hair when she lets it expel from her lips. Her god daughter beside her now out of the blue, she hides under the fall of her dark pitch black curls so that the streaks don't shown over her cheeks where makeup had run. She talks of wanting to be a necromancer...the demon can only surmise she wishes this to bring them back. Sometimes, there's a reason that people die..sometimes its better that they're dead..She feels a well up of anger as she thinks of people, those she lost. Those she never got to know and wanted to desperately...She knew why her god daughter wanted to be a necromancer and that she for one didn't agree to it. They spoke for a little and then she leaves so that once again left her alone.

Each time, she can only think of her aingeal. There's an ache inside. A hollow spot that seems to get bigger and bigger the more he is away from her. Her eyes begin to burn again and she tries not to think about him. About anyone. Its time to stop loving. Stop caring so much. Its time for her heart to grow cold and turn to her darker side perhaps.

A distraction. This is what Neri needed. She turns her thoughts inside out and realizes she hears her Sisters talking from somewhere behind her and works her way carefully off the cold metal railing to make her way around front, seeking them out..seeking out company, a distraction. The thoughts that plague her and she finds herself with no one to talk to nor does she wish to talk to anyone about these worries that plague her.

Its times like this that she wishes she had the book. Demonicus seemed to tug at her like a drug to one fiends for some hard shit. She wishes he'd stop toying with her. She did what she was told to do. She does everything she's ordered but for what? His latest communication left her heart wedged in her throat. Just thinking about it left her dizzy and confused. He'd given her a few hours, atleast until he returned, to decide how she wanted her 'gift' to be given and each time she thinks about it she's left lost and uncertain. She craved. Hunger flaring up inside her and steeling her breath. He had not many questions. They were more like demands and she knew he'd not listen if she didn't think well on his offers. She accepted them though, willingly, a pack that she laid out in a verbal agreement and now she can only wait and see what will happen.

For now, all she can do is fight not to weep over her aingeal. Feeling cold inside and out anymore. Lost in an endless sea of coldness that bathes her in its icy blanket and feel as if she's drowning.