Stop the Pain

Regrets..so many of them..Nerissa stood before the grave, hiding herself from everyone as she has come to do so often over the months, coughing up blood as her body clenches up from pain. They don't know how much it hurts her. Being wounded, but she doesn't care. She lets emotions build a wall to block the pain until its over and she's left aching terribly and finally collapses to her knees before it where the soil turned dark and muddy with her spilled blood. And all she can do is breath in deeply and slowly until it passes while the holes close and the bullets become fed upon, become a part of her. The ground starts turning frosty from the temperature dropping around her and she trembles as she leans foward further with a silent sobbing. She couldn't stand it. The name calling. The lies. She's not emo..they don't understand what she goes through. She tries to just turn everyone away anymore. Give them a smile and try to look..normal. Her tail coils up and she brushes her hand over it before causing it to disappear from view. Rat tail demon...she tries to laugh and only starts to sob again, burying her hands into her hair, rocking against the burning pain and the hunger rising within her now. And all she can do is fight it off or steal into the hospital in hopes to find something fresh to consume. She tries to breath and a hiccup lodges in her throat before she resumes bawling. Nerissa slowly comes to loath herself and what she is. Pieter's words biting in deeper then anyone's. She tries to dry her dirty face and is left with tracks instead, smears where her hand was useless them. To protect her new family..she was a joke. Useless anymore. To herself and them. Anger wells up and she suddenly moves, falling back on her ass and kicking at the tombstone, making it groan and crack as her heel hits it in the center...and the blood runs again. 'A bleeder'...yes, that she was. She did it to herself. She had reasons..blood magery being one of them. Her blood was strong and it come in handy..."Why can't things just be the way they were?" she whispers and is responded by a whisper, a brush of cold as the spirit rises from the grave before her and tries to speak. Leave it to the dead to try and calm her..perhaps if it had been her parents..perhaps...She sighs and shakes her head, murmured words passing from her to the deceased. The sadness in the spirit's face has her brow furrowed and she looks away. They come out more often then before, the deeper she gets in her studies, and she's always there to listen to them because they always listen to her like no one else. But what can the dead do?..Form here, she waits and the soft whispered discussion between the dead surrounds her into a sort of calm state, her crimson head nodding as if actually listening to each of their spoken words. Her lids draw heavy and she doesn't even know that they'd eased her down onto the could ground or that she'd passed out in the end due to the pain still within her. In this semi state of unconsciousness, Neri's hand lays against her belly, just barely showing a roundness, and finally falls into a listless sleep...