Memories

I didn't know a sneeze could hurt until I stirred up all the dust laying all over the boxes I ended up digging out of storage. I also didn't realize just how much junk I had; stuff of my own collected and stuff left from my parents' life. Now, I sit here, digging through them slowly, hair tucked up under a baseball cap and smudges of dirt from across my face down to my old teenie boppers. So much junk..wow..I can't believe I have so much junk. This is mostly what's going through my mind right now, taking a break with the boxes I could get to readily enough, chewing absently at my lip with a fang.
The first box was broken things, babbles, knicknacks. Even a bag full of rocks. I frown and look at them in confusion, pushing around the few in my palm after pouring them into it. What the hell do I have these things, I think to myself, feathers? Rocks? Leaves...there's something about the leaves that makes me pause, a small furrow between my fine ashen covered brows. A shadow stirs in her mind, a pair of glowing sunlight eyes looking out, white whiskers in a black muzzle...Anei...I find myself wondering where she is now, that pooka that seemed to always watch over me until one day she's just gone. A soft sigh and she goes back to her rummaging with flinting thoughts racing through her head.
The second box proved to be most entertaining. She found a doll made of wax, carefully wrapped up in white silk linen. It was a spitting image of her when she was a little younger..now, the body was broken and her fingers brushed over the destroyed limb. I remember this..you were to hold me instead of the other way around. And you did for a while. I think this was the first time my sire had actually inflicted bodily harm on that night. The doll was clutched to tightly to my chest and his eyes flared with anger at what I'd done. I stood there emotionaless and uncaring. I hurt people..I shunned other's..and all I wanted to do was lock away all the hurt I couldn't bury when I lost my hellhound..sighing...will I ever forget him? Stop wanting to be his...I've moved on. I even managed to love other's. But seems none of them ever worked. I still wish at times I'd kept running. Never let them get close. Never care..but it happens. A smile actually comes to my soft petal lips suddenly as if something specific was there in my forethoughts. Oh yes..there was definitely someone in my thoughts that moment and the warmth spread through my cold body like a wild fire. I still think I smell him even over all this nasty dust that clogs the nasal passage and wonder if this is really what it means to be inlove with someone utterly. I give a small chuckle. Always running away, never can keep my thoughts on one track.
Box after box I open up, my little area now cluttered around in a semi circle where I'd set things off to the sides. Boxes inside of boxes. A total mess yet still there's something of a plan to it all.
I found one small shoebox buried under some clothing I'd outgrown a long time ago and blinks. Inside, there was a cup with some kanji written on it. I remember this..it was the first cup of catnip tea I'd ever drunk. Laughing to myself, I set it back then find a small colorful book nestled inside with other papers that held doodles, names and other unledgable things. Its when I open it and thumb through the pages that I'm more then a little surprised. It was a diary I'd had started a long time ago. Actually, not long after I'd started finding myself in Toxian City more and more each week. A small scowl plays on my pale features and then I snap it closed and pocket it actually. Maybe it'll prove amusing to read what I'd written so long ago. I know I've changed but I try not to think just how much.
Looking around now, another small break, gives me time to really take in all the things I'd collected through out the years. The books, I can finally put them all where they belong, the bookshelf won't look bare anymore atleast. Rubbing a forearm under my nose, I turn and roll onto my knees, tugging another box towards me. Inside, the contents make my eyes sting and my eyes takes in the photographs heaped within. The family I never knew. My parents when they were growing up and enjoying one another's existance. I can see I look a lot like my mother but there's my eyes looking back at me through my father. My finger lightly brushes over the glossy snapshot of when my mom was huge. I can only imagine that's me inside her. I never heard about having any other siblings and Sieran would know I'm sure since they were all friends. I still find that a shock..all those years. Of not knowing who I was and stuff and he comes to me so long afterwards to talk to me. I still don't know how to take it all in but..over all. I owe a lot to him. He's saved my ass one too many times too. I find myself missing him a lot. His teachings. I love him too I realize. And even if I'm no longer his childe as once I was, he'll always be my Sire. He's done so much for me. I let my eyes wander over the photographs again, mind trailing off this way and that as it's want to do, and I just let it go where it will.
It takes a few more hours but I finally manage to resort things better. Put them into things that are much more airtight and safer, finding places for them on other shelves..but for the photos. This I keep and take up to my bedroom and make a decision to buy a few photo albums. I find myself wondering if my Sev would want to go and smile, figuring I'll talk to him about it. A nice little outing for us in the mortal world.