The Long Mile

Can't help but wonder how many pair of shoes will be worn out by the time morning comes. Pacing restlessly. Walking the streets aimlessly. Still alone more often then not. That ache is gnawing so much now that its hard not to just curl up in a fetal position and let them kick until the bones snap and the skin breaks to spill her life. But, finally, giving up for a bit and sitting. Close to the shop, she perches and sits on the edge of the alcove that led to the beach. Watching those that pass under her and go by on their on business. The wet plasters the dark curls and in tight long curls, the water hangs to dripdripdrip down onto her sodden clothing. She didn't care. It hid any tears that threatened to fall. Each time she looked up, she most likely was searching for a specific face. Hoping to see them walking towards her. But its never the one she wants to see.

A deep heavy sigh and she's reaching up to curl her finger up in a long strand of pitch black that hangs down around her face. A curl of icy white mist rising from her nostrils with each breath doesn't even hide her eyes from searching but it might hide her face from their eyes. She grimaces as she presses her hand to her gut and bends over a little more as if in pain, nearly enough that she could just pitch forward and crush her skull on the ground below her. But she's fallen for worse heights with minimal injury. The hunger was beginning to take its toll and she was starving. There wasn't anyone she could go to anymore..none that she use to feed from never around and uncertain she could handle any others'. A few deep breaths and she sits up a little more again, tries to ignore it.

The face swims up in her mind's eye again and she gives a wet shake of her head to clear the image. A faint whimper tearing from her lip that she clamps down hard enough to bust the flesh. The pain she remembers in the eyes as she was healed brought tears to her eyes again, just as they did last night. She never meant to get hurt. Always putting her best shoulder forward in a fight. But the demon she tangled with still smacked her down, tossed her against one wall and another like a rag doll. If not for her nature, she may of bleed to death, broken. But she forced all she had into it, the essence blazing like a nova as she tapped everything she had within her to force the wounds to be not so severe but it was too much damage and she couldn't hide the limping where she couldn't get her shin back into place, jeans tight thankfully held it all together with so many bandages its amazing she didn't starve her leg of its life. Inside the shop, she protested and just shy of threatened anyone that dared try to help her..it was her fault and mistake. Why should they waste energy and time on her small wounds when there's other things to be done. So she kept still as much as possible. Head down to hide her face, eyes, tears as she walked around as normal as she could. But in the end it didn't do any good. Refusing to listen to her. Worried and near to tears, insisting to fix what I didn't have the energy to finish up. Even after everything was taken care of and torn with guilt, she held onto them with a tight grip before her vision went and she went to the floor in a dead faint.

The first thing that came to mind when she woke up was not how she got in her bed and tucked in but if everything was alright. The pain having to endure that come from herself still bit into her heart and she spent most the day fretting until she ends up sitting out in the rain with tears spilling down her cheeks.

Utter alone-ness and too many emotions crashing in on her. She didn't want to feed. Didn't wish to bother anyone. The alcohol she was tired of. It did nothing for her. She wanted to hurl anymore even when a glass was set before her. She sighs and lifts her head to look off across the land that she could see, the blue eyes paler in her dark face. This is how she spent her night..